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PERSONAL DESTRUCTION

By R. J. NICHOLAS

When we unconsciously sabotage or disrupt good intentions with behavior that hinders us from reaching our full potential or enjoying the success we have achieved we are sabotaging ourselves.

We become stuck in a negative energetic vibration when we subconsciously meditate on negative thoughts and we are unable to receive what we really desire because we continue to attract in everything that sabotages our hopes, dreams, aspirations, relationships, career, etc.

Self-Sabotage is activated when strong emotions are surging through us or we allow destructive emotions to dominate our inner thought life on a consistent basis. Destructive emotions are emotions that compel us to repeat self-destructive acts, do something that harms ourselves, or someone else if we allow ourselves to be controlled by them. Negative emotions and behavior such as fear, low self-esteem, timidity, jealousy and envy, criticism, hatred, pessimism, laziness, sense of futility, frustration, panic, anger, rage, arrogance, greed,. . ., as well as perfectionist tendencies which accept little as good enough, will begin to manifest in our lives through people, places, and circumstances. Self-sabotage will even lead to severe anxiety disorders such as depression.

Relationships, personal finance, health and career are the predominate areas most affected by self-sabotage. The following are some examples of self-sabotage:

•Repeating unwanted patterns of behavior;

•Inability to commit to or hold on to long term relationships;

•Saying you want something then doing things that ensure it doesn’t happen;

•Eating/drinking/doing things that compromise your health, wellbeing and effectiveness;

•Making positive changes in your habits only to slip back into old ways;

•Failure to complete what you start;

•Finding the perfect job but missing the deadline for submission of the application;

•Saving money for a holiday then blowing it all on an indulgent spending spree;

•Achieving happiness or success but behaving in ways that jeopardise it/damage it and ultimately lead to you losing it;

•Joining a gym but being too busy to attend (then having fits of guilt about it);

•Doing well at school, college, university then ‘being ill’ or manifesting some other situation to prevent you completing;

•Reaching a plateau in an area of your life and being unable to progress no matter how you try;

•Feeling as if someone or something is standing in the way of all of your efforts;

•Procrastination (“the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.”  Napoleon Hill);

•Lacking motivation to complete as a deadline draws near;

•Perfectionism (Self-defeating thoughts and behaviours associated with high and unrealistic goals; feeling that whatever you accomplish is never quite good enough; believing you must give more than 100% in everything otherwise you’ll be judged as mediocre or even a failure);

•Impostor Syndrome (Feeling you are only acting out being talented/capable/good . . . and fearing being found out to be less than what others believe you to be).

Self-sabotage can also be attributed to the fear of ‘greatness’. As Marianne Williamson so eloquently put it: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.  Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Although we encounter positive experiences throughout our life many of us have deep seated negative beliefs about ourselves that conflict with such experiences and cause subconscious confusion and conflict. The sad part about self-sabotage is that we will subconsciously sabotage our happiness and success in order to prove the validity of our beliefs and thus bring about a situation which we wish never happened.

We may even find it hard to fully believe anyone who praises our looks, and will likely rebuff compliments and even dress and act in ways to validate the ‘less attractive than’ belief, if we grew up believing ourselves to be less attractive than a sibling, friend or others.

The most important thing to remember is that self-sabotage is linked to negative thoughts based on limiting beliefs and is subconscious. The thoughts can be fearful, anxious, worrying thoughts or they can be doubts about coping with additional responsibility and with success.

If we pay close attention to the fact that everything is energy, and energy affects and is affected by energy through advanced science or quantum physics we can be more aware that where attention goes, energy flows, and hence thinking attracts that which is likened unto itself. We reap what we sow into this world and get what we ask for via the energy of our thoughts. It can be especially challenging on the journey to wholeness and empowerment if rigid beliefs and values or introjections of others’ beliefs in childhood are reinforced later in life.

However, there is hope. The power of the mind is seriously underestimated and extremely powerful. Once we recognize the ways in which we are self-sabotaging through negative self-talk based on inappropriate beliefs and negative thoughts, you can actively monitor your thoughts and – kindly, gently – choose to change this inner dialogue to more positive, supportive self-talk. Slowly but surely this frees you from irrational and limiting beliefs. And this cannot fail to attract more positive experiences into your life. There is even a biological effect on your genes when you change your perceptions and beliefs about life. This will then enable you to go from a victim to a master of your own life, with the choice of simply changing your mind.

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